i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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