it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
