**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
