Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
