i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
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Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
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Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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