I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
