Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize