I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
