I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
