im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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