Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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