Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
