An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
