i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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