Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I know her cup size but not her name....
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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