You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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