Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
