Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
