She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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