did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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