but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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