Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
