the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
