All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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