he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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