you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
