if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
