and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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