I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
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He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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