but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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