So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I think I sprained my soul last night
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
