I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
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I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
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Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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