So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
