didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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