Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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