It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
