His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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