You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
