1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize