woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
