come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
