Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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