Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
