i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
