my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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