We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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