Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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