he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
i think i just lost a toe
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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