i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
