cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Your cock deserves a montage
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
