How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
