dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Hippo gnu deer
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
