so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
