D3 body, D1 cock
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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