i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
