I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
God gave him joint rollers for hands
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
