I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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