I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
