Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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