I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize