You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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