Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
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