His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
