i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
