plz talk dirty to me
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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