i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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